heather

Dear Diary:

Why?

Boy 2: Why do they hate me?

Girl 1: Why don’t I fight back?

Why do I act like such a creep?

Why?

Why won’t he date me?

Why did I hit him?

Students: Why do I cry myself to sleep?

Why?

Students: Somebody hug me.

Somebody fix me.

Somebody save me.

Send me a sign, God

Get me some cold beer.

Something to live for…

Heather Chandler, Heather Duke, and Heather McNamara enter.

Oh­oh, Heather, Heather, and Heather.

And then there’s the Heathers. They float above it all.

Students: I love Heather, Heather, and Heather.

I hate Heather, Heather, and Heather.

Heather McNamara, head cheerleader. Her dad is loaded, he sells engagement rings.

Students: I want Heather, Heather, and Heather.

Heather Duke, runs the yearbook. No discernable personality, but her mom did pay for implants.